The Alchemist Factor
by Aciddrop Kitty
Summary: It isn't enough that Severus Snape had to spend the next seven years of his life keeping the idiotic spawn of his worst enemy from accidentally killing himself with his own stupidity, but now Nicolas Flamel's crazy alchemist brat has apparently decided to become his best friend whether he likes it or not. An Ed/Sev friendship story. Also with Fem!Ed for reasons.
1. Book 1 - Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or Fullmetal Alchemist and I sure as heck don't make money off of this.

**The Alchemist Factor **

_Book 1, Chapter 1_

_The Meeting  
_

Children were not supposed to be on school grounds during the summer holiday. Occasionally, a muggle family needed to see the accommodations that they'd be sending their precious little brat to before agreeing to let them attend Hogwarts. Of course, those visits were always scheduled weeks in advance and any children that came with their parents were never left alone. Or so Severus had assumed. He knew the policy guidelines, but he'd never actually witnessed the staff showing off the school. In fact, he made a point to be absent on the days when Minerva played tour guide to doubtful muggles. He always kept an eye the schedule knew there were not supposed to be any children in the castle today. Especially today. And yet, sitting at the table, in the staffroom no less, was a little blond girl reading a book. Alone.

Severus scanned the room and then glanced back around the hall through the open door he'd come from. No parent or faculty member in sight. Damn.

"Are you lost, girl?" he asked, perhaps far more condescendingly than he should have. But summer holidays were supposed to be his time away from children, and this little girl had dared to intrude apron his brat free vacation.

Instead of jumping in a fright, the reaction most children had when finding themselves suddenly addressed by a strange voice, the little girl continued reading as if nothing had happened.

Perhaps she was engrossed in her book? Well, not for long.

Severus silently made his way behind the girl, then with the fullest intent to slam the tome shut in front of her, he reached down and-

A pair of gold eyes glared into his own with surprising ferocity.

"Do you need something?" the little girl asked irritably.

Severus blinked and retracted his hand. So she had noticed him. That was rather unsettling considering he was a veteran spy and most aurors couldn't detect his presence. Not that he'd been hiding it particularly well, but sneaking up on children was something he'd made an art of over the years. Yet somehow, this little girl who couldn't be older than a first-year had sensed him. There was something even more wrong here than he'd thought.

"Children shouldn't be loitering in Hogwarts during the holiday. Where are your parents?" he demanded.

The girl snorted and turned back to her book.

"My parents," the word parents had a strange inflection of tone to it Severus noted, "are in France. And I'm here because Dumbledore told me I could read here while I waited for the meeting to start."

"The meeting," he echoed deadpan. This had to be a joke. The only meeting in the castle today that he was aware of was the meeting of the Heads of House to finalize their plans to protect the Philosopher's Stone, and the girl couldn't possibly mean that. Dumbledore was eccentric, but he'd never invite a child to such a thing. It was insane.

The girl's eyes strange golden eyes narrowed at him like a hawk sizing up a particularly fat mouse. He almost felt intimidated. Almost. She couldn't be older than ten.

The girl huffed.

"Yeah, that's what I said. The meeting. I'm here to make sure Dumbledore's safeguards are up to par."

"You can't be serious," he hissed in disbelief before he could stop himself.

"You're damn right I'm serious! My father," and there was that strange tincture again, "may trust Dumbledore, but there's no way in I'm letting something so dangerous be kept here without assurance that it will be safe. Do you know what it's capable of? What could go wrong if it falls into the wrong hands?" the girl practically growled the last words.

Severus would be lying if he said he wasn't taken slightly aback by this. Her strange eyes had clouded over with darkness that made her seem far older than she was.

"I've seen that sort of power misused and you can be damn sure I'm never going to let that happen again," she finished ominously, with an almost imperceptible trace of guilt that Severus might have missed were he anyone else.

Severus stared. A little girl was hissing warnings at him like a seasoned auror cautioned his apprentice about a cursed artifact. Concerning the subject matter it was understandable, since the Philosopher's was extremely dangerous, but at the same time, child shouldn't know about the Philosopher's Stone and they certainly shouldn't have the expression of someone who'd fought a war, either.

"Who on earth are you?" he asked tightly.

"Edalene Flamel, and if you're half the wizard Dumbledore said you were, you know who my parents are and why I'm here," she replied flatly, her voice only slightly faltering when she said the word parents.

"I've never heard of Nicolas and Perenelle Flamel having a child," he said smoothly. There was no way he was letting a child know she'd made him uncomfortable. It was time to take control of this situation.

The blond girl frowned and looked at the floor.

"Yeah, well, you wouldn't have. When was nine years old there was an… alchemical accident. My parents," and there was the voice change again, "kept me in a magical coma for most of the next six-hundred and fourteen years while they tried to find a cure for me. It should go without saying that when there are people out there willing to burn the entire world for the secrets you have, it's a good idea not to let it be wildly known you have a defenseless daughter begging to be used a as blackmail material," Edalene said darkly as she tugged on the edges of her sleeves.

Wonderful. Severus was apparently dealing with a child who was by his estimation possibly ten and six-hundred and twenty-three years old at the same time due to some unspecified alchemical accident. That, or an incredibly convincing actor using polyjuice that Albus had commissioned in a fit of aged-addled madness. He wasn't sure which one was worse. Or more bizarre.

"That's disturbing," Severus said blandly after a moment. How was one supposed to respond to that sort of statement?

His words earned him a pained chuckle from the girl.

"Isn't it though?" she grinned wryly up at him.

"How exactly does one survive for six-hundred and sixteen years in a coma without aging? That's far beyond the power of any magic I know." Severus immediately regretted his question as the girl gave him a look that clearly said he was ten kinds of an idiot.

"The Stone you moron. What else?"

Admittedly, that was a stupid question, but considering what the girl claimed, Severus thought he was allowed a moment of to sort out his thoughts before he was accountable for functioning logic.

Unfortunately, before Severus could come up with a cutting reply to the girl's incredible rudeness, Albus and Minerva entered the staffroom.

"Ah Severus," Albus said cheerfully. "I see you've met the lovely Miss Flamel."

"Unfortunately," he scowled. Lovely was not the word he'd chose.

Minerva looked at the occupants of the room, and though her brow furrowed and her lips twisted into a small frown, she didn't move to say anything. Undoubtedly noticing Albus' eyes twinkling merrily, she'd clearly made the decision to wait before asking anything. Wise choice.

"Now Severus, I'm sure you'll quite like Miss Flamel once you get to know her," Albus smiled and sat at the table motioning for the others to follow suit.

Severus said nothing as he sat, but he noticed the girl roll her eyes before turning back to her book. He didn't want to get to know the girl. He despised children and Albus knew it. Besides, he would hardly have the chance to get to know Edalene at the meeting unless she was going to be around longer than that. But there was no reason for her to stay longer, except perhaps if she were to-

Severus mentally adjusted his estimation of Edalene Flamel's age to eleven and fought back the overwhelming urge to hit his head against the table from the implications. Instead he gave the headmaster his best withering glare. It went unnoticed by the man it was directed at of course, but Minerva gave him a questioning glance. He ignored her in favor of glowering at and fiddling with his personal notes until the others arrived. The head of Gryffindor would find out soon enough.

A short time later, Pomona, Filius, and the simpering Quirinus had assembled and took their sets at the table. Albus smiled and thanked the teachers for coming, then began.

"I suppose I should begin by addressing the elephant in the room. Though this elephant isn't much of an elephant at all, rather it's a girl. Let me introduce you all to Edalene Flamel, daughter of Nicolas and Perenelle. She's here on behalf of her parents to make sure the Stone is in good hands. I hope you all will give her a warm welcome to our fine school."

There were several choked noises from the staff and even a squeak from Quirinus, who almost fell out of his chair in shock from the announcement, as all attention turned to the golden-eyed girl sitting at the table. Edalene, who had been ignoring everyone in favor of her book, looked up and blinked at all the faces staring at her as if she hadn't even noticed the increase in the room's population until that moment.

Strange. Was it possible her reaction to him was only because he's entered her personal space?

"Um, hey," she said and gave a pathetic half wave.

The room, predictably, fell into chaos.

"Albus, you're joking! That poor girl can't be much older than a first-year!"

"I d-d-d-on't think th-th-this is a very good idea…"

"What in the name of Merlin does a little girl know about keeping the stone safe?"

"Surely the Flamels could have come to oversee this themselves, rather than send their daughter?"

The clamoring around the table was abruptly silenced, not by the headmaster, but by the girl in question.

"Shut up!" she yelled. Loudly. The room fell silent and Severus could only wonder what the poor Flamels had done not to go mad when she was an infant. The girl had an impressive set of lungs.

"I may only be th-" she quickly cut herself off before anyone could make out what she'd said and corrected it, "eleven, but I'm a Master Alchemist and I know what I'm doing, which is more than I can say for you." The girl gazed around at the assemble faculty, her expression clearly unimpressed.

But that was impossible, wasn't it? An eleven-year-old couldn't be a master alchemist, even if their parents were Nicolas and Perenelle Flamel. The sheer amount of math and chemistry involved with the most basic transmutations was at least NEWT level work. To be able to memorize and apply all the theory and concepts one needed to do the basics was beyond impossible for most adult wizards, there was no way-

Edalene, undoubtedly seeing the looks of disbelief on everyone's faces, chose that moment to clap her hands together and slam them on the table. There was a bright blue light and a crackling sound that filled the room for a few seconds. When it cleared, there was an obvious hole in the table and the girl was holding an ornate wooden spear in her hands. She twirled it once and jabbed it in the face of the unfortunate soul sitting across from her, who just so happened to be Quirinus. The man shrieked in surprise and fell out of his chair, blubbering on the floor.

The rest of the staff, now free from their momentary shock, reached for their wands defensively. Severus noted smugly that he was the only one to have drawn and pointed his at the girl before Albus stood.

"Miss Flamel, you've proven your point. Please put the table back," he said with no small amount of amusement and the blond obeyed.

With another crackle and flash of blue light the spear was gone and the table was back to its original state.

Severus stared. Weren't alchemists supposed to draw circles? What on earth was going on?

"As you can see, Miss Flamel is indeed quite the alchemist," Albus nodded and sat back down. "You needn't doubt her skill or dedication to this cause, I assure you. As it stands, she's only here to act as a consultant. Once we've successfully set up the protections for the Stone, she'll report back to her parents in France. However, Nicolas has expressed his concerns about keeping such a dangerous artifact here at the school and so this September Miss Flamel shall return as a student here."

It was quite clear from the expressions his colleagues wore that everyone seated at the table wanted to argue the inclusion of an eleven year old in the process of keeping a legendary artifact out of the hands of evil. However, every person at the table also knew that once Albus had made up his mind about something, no matter how daft it seemed, he would keep to his decision. Arguing with the man was pointless.

Finally, Quirinus, who had managed to crawl back into his chair, though he still gave the girl a wary eye, asked, "B-b-b-ut if Miss F-f-f-f-lamel is here, won't that attract unwanted a-a-attention?"

"An excellent point, Quirinus. In order to keep suspicion at bay, we've decided Miss Flamel will be posing as a muggle-born student by the name of Eddy Eldridge while she attends Hogwarts. I ask that all of you treat her the same as any other student too keep up appearances, though she will be given access to the third-floor corridor," Albus explained.

"Albus, this is preposterous!" Minerva protested. "Hagrid told me he's placing a cerberus as the guardian to to door!"

Severus quite agreed with the Gryffindor, but he wasn't in the mood to argue with Albus. The other teachers, some plain surprised by Hagrid's choice in guardian, and others horrified for the girl, murmured in agreement.

For her part, the girl simply snorted and said, "I can take an overgrown dog."

Of course we all believe you.

"Now, now, everyone," Albus said calmly, but here was also an air of finality about him that caused the others to quiet."I understand your objections, but both Nicolas and Edalene have assured me she can take care of herself, and I'm inclined to agree. The title of Master Alchemist is not something on earns lightly. Now enough about Miss Flamel. I shall begin this meeting by telling you about Hagrid's contribution to our cause as he is dealing with his animals and unable to attend..."

The meeting dragged on with each participant explaining their obstacles for anyone who dared to go after the Philosopher's Stone. Honestly, Severus wasn't impressed. Each obstacle, with the exception of Quirinus' troll, could be passed by a reasonably clever first year who indulged in a bit of extracurricular reading. He'd certainly known how bypass all the traps when he was eleven. And the sheer absurdity of some of them was painful. A giant chess set? Flying keys? The rest of the core staff was apparently as mad as Dumbledore who, of course, made Severus change the obstacle he'd designed because it apparently wasn't kooky enough.

Severus had originally set up the seven potions to be just that. A table with potions on it. Pick the wrong potion and die. But Albus argued that simply remembering which potions was far too difficult in an emergency, and even if he gave everyone a potion to keep with them for emergencies, they could lose it. After a long winded argument which he unfortunately lost, Severus was forced to add a logic puzzle as a hint. Because in an emergency, if one of the staff couldn't remember which potion was which, they'd definitely have time to work out a logic puzzle.

Severus was beginning to think Albus wanted the Dark Lord to get the Stone. The only thing that might, and it was a big might considering who was in charge, stop anyone trying to get the Stone was Albus' own personal obstacle. Not that he'd tell the rest of the staff what it was, of course…

As the meeting drew to a close and a schedule was made for when each staff member would implement their own obstacle, Severus subtly looked for any hints of worry in his colleagues' faces. Much to his disappointment, they all seemed content with this extremely lax security. Except, oddly, for the girl.

If Edalene Flame's expression was anything to go by, she thought everyone in the room was positively insane, though she hadn't said anything. Severus found that odd considering she was so very outspoken before.

The girl noticed him staring and once again he was met with a strange golden eyes. Unnerved, he looked back at his notes and shuffled throughout them until he was dismissed.

Leaving the room as fast as possible, while still appearing to look causally disinterested, Severus gave one last look to the strange girl who was once again reading her book.

At least he wouldn't have to deal with her again until September. And hopefully, he could get some information about her out of Albus.

* * *

_Author's Notes: I am not a very good writer. This is my experiment in writing a multi-chapter story that is coherent. So why did I pick HP and FMA to crossover if I wanted something coherent? Don't ask logic from me, fools!_

_Why did I make Ed a girl? Mostly because it amuses me. And there is a darn good reason for it, but you'll have read the story to find out why. And no, it isn't to make the shipping heterosexual. There will be no romantic stuff in my story until the 4th book if it happens at all, and it certainly won't be any crossover parings. All canon parings will most likely still exist, even if they aren't written about._


	2. Book 1 - Chapter 2

**The Alchemist Factor **

_Book 1, Chapter 2_

_The Sorting  
_

As usual, the students returned to Hogwarts much too quickly for Severus' liking, though this year it was even worse than normal. For the entirety of the two weeks prior to the children's return, Severus hadn't been able to walk past his fellow staff members without hearing something about _Harry _bloody _Potter_.

What was he like? Would he take after his father, his mother, or be someone else entirely? What house would he be in? What classes would he like best? Would he be a Quidditch fan or a hard core academic? Who would he make friends with? What sort of food did he like best? What part of the castle would be his favorite? How did he like spending the last eleven years of his life living with muggles? How much about the magical world did he know? What kind of pet did he have? What was his wand made out of? Why was Hagrid so adamant about "keeping everything a surprise"?

It was enough to make Severus want to throw himself off the Astronomy Tower. Considering that half the staff knew his past with James Potter and that he wanted nothing to do with his second coming, one would think that they would at least be polite enough to change the subject when he came around. But no! It was the exact opposite! They all had it in their heads that they could some how make Severus warm up to the idea of the boy by talking about him _even more. _Undoubtedly, their behavior was directly influenced by Albus, who had the ridiculous notion in his head that he and Harry Potter could be _just like family _if Severus simply _tried_. Though, to be fair, he really shouldn't have expected any empathy from the fools. They'd given him none when he was a student, so why would that change now that he was a teacher?

Worthless gossiping hens, the lot of them!

To add insult to injury, Severus hadn't been able to find out any information about the disturbing Edalene Flamel. Albus was being characteristically enigmatic about her, and there were no records of her ever existing anywhere, even in the French Ministry's database. It was possible that the Flamels had erased all evidence of her existence after her "accident" as the girl had said, but there would still have to be something, _somewhere._ Children didn't just disappear in the magical world. There were life and death records that could not be erased, even with money and power. But it seemed that no matter how hard Severus looked, the girl had never existed at all.

Or, perhaps it was that _Edalene Flamel_ didn't exist at all. The girl had no qualms about using an alias so she could watch over the stone, who was to say she wasn't using another to begin with? Perhaps she was adopted, or the child of a mistress? It was impossible to tell at the moment, but he would find out. Severus did not like unknown factors, and the girl was nothing but unknowns.

Her strange alchemy particularly bothered him. Severus was no alchemist, but he knew a bit of the theory behind it and had made a point to do some research after witnessing it first hand at the meeting. Hogwarts didn't have much in the way of books on alchemy, no one did really, as it was a mostly dead art, but what it did have was informative.

Alchemy used arrays drawn by the user to calculate how energy was gathered and applied to the materials in a transmutation to form the whatever finished product was. Even the simplest transmutation took pages of calculations that were translated into arrays to perform, and there was no way around it. _At all._ The books were very firm on this point. Yet, the girl had used no circles, only clapped her hands together and transmuted the table. She went against everything alchemy inherently was, and it was damned annoying to try and figure out how.

Perhaps there had been a trick. Some sight of hand somewhere. The girl had certainly been left in the staffroom long enough to have hidden an alchemical array, but would she really have done that? Her transmutation had seem like a spur of the moment decision, and he couldn't believe an eleven-year-old was so clever.

If she was really an eleven-year-old at all. Eleven or six-hundred and twenty-five, if she hadn't been lying about her accident.

Uggh. It gave Severus a headache to think about.

"Are you feeling all right, Severus?" Filius, who was seated next to him, asked.

"The school has once again been infested by snot-nosed brats who want nothing more than to drive us mad," he said.

"Ah Severus," Fillus chuckled, "You're always such a joy."

Severus scowled and glanced over to where Minerva was leading the newest batch of horrors into the Great Hall to be Sorted. They looked the same as they did every year, a gaggle of Nervous sniveling little brats who would no doubt soon lose their fear and awe to become hell raising devils. Right now they were still shuffling from foot to foot, gazing with trepidation at everyone and everything, minds no doubt realign with the horror stories of how they were to be Sorted, traditionally told by the older students on the train.

_Disgusting._

Severus let his eyes wander over the faces he'd soon be expected to know and, much to his dismay,_ care about._

Draco Malfoy stood out instantly. He knew the boy far better than he would have liked, as it was only polite to pretend to be interested in the bratty son of his longtime friends. Draco was flanked by a large pair of gruff looking brutes who Severus assumed to be Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle. He'd never met them but he'd been informed by Lucius that they'd make "good allies" for his son. Severus took that to mean dim-witted bodyguards and meat-shields who would easily be led to do the youngest Malfoy's bidding. Not that Severus particularly cared. All three boys were doing their best to hide their anxiety, but their nervous eyes darted around the hall and gave them away.

Edalene Flamel, now _Eddy Eldridge_ was easy to find amongst the other children. Her bright golden hair and eyes gave her away instantly. Unlike the other students, she didn't appear to be nervous at all. Instead, she was gazing around the hall in with a grim sort of amusement. Given her confrontational attitude and affinity for attacking people relatively unprovoked, Severus assumed the girl most likely _wanted_ to fight horde of zombies, or whatever rubbish the older students had come up with this year. It really was a shame the Sorting didn't involve fighting some sort of beast. If she were eaten right now Severus would most certainly have less of a headache later. Though, he supposed, that logic cold be applied to all of the students.

Finally he spotted the infamous Harry Potter sandwiched between a sandy-haired boy and what appeared to be yet _another _Weasley. Severus was horrified to find the boy looked like a carbon-copy of James Potter from his messy hair to his glasses. Oh, he seemed harmless now, but once he got over the pre-Sorting jitters, he would undoubtedly begin his storm of pranks and arrogance that would take over the school and bend it to his every childish whim. The only solace Severus could take in the situation was that the brat looked positively sick at the moment, as if he was about to keel over. Maybe he had some incurable disease? Severus could only hope.

As the Sorting Hat finished yet another of its boring and cringe-worthy songs, Minerva began to read off the names of the students for the hat. Severus made sure to note each student's name and what house they were in so that if any of them caused trouble later, he'd know exactly who he was reprimanding and what house was to lose points.

As usual, the children were Sorted and nothing terribly interesting happened... until the name Eldridge, Eddy was called.

The girl walked to the Sorting Hat and stared at it for a moment with a frown, then hesitantly picked it up while touching it as little as possible as if it might be some sort of abomination against life itself, before sitting on the stool reluctantly placing the hat on her head. The large Sorting Hat flopped over her face like it did for every student, and she sat there.

And sat there.

And sat there for over _five minutes_ while whispers broke out all over the hall. Eddy Eldridge had the honor of being the first Hatstall since Filius Flitwick.

Not even Sorted and the girl was trouble! Severus could only hope that wherever she ended up, it wasn't Slytherin. He didn't want to have to deal with her in person more than was strictly necessary. Though, considering her impulsive and confrontational nature, Severus wasn't sure why the hat didn't just instantly toss her in Gryffindor with the other troublemakers. This probably meant the annoying girl had an irritatingly conflicting personality which would just make her that much harder for him to figure out. Wonderful.

After seven minutes of apparently nail-biting tension that caused everyone in the Hall but to shuffle around and gossip in whispered tones, Severus himself was merely board, the Sorting Hat yelled, "GRYFFINDOR!" just as he'd predicted.

The girl pulled off the hat as fast as she could, gave it a shockingly dirty look, and then stomped off to the Gryffindor table where she was enthusiastically greeted by her peers. She then let go of whatever issues she'd had with the hat, smiled pleasantly, and sat down to chatter with her new housemates. Likely about why she'd taken so long with the hat.

For the first time in a very long time, Severus found himself wishing he was sitting at the Gryffindor table. When he realized his thoughts he immediately crushed with a disgusted huff and looked to see who was being Sorted. Unfortunately, it was a bushy-haired buck-toothed girl named Hermione Granger who also seemed to think the hall had nothing better to do than wait around to get sorted as she took almost four minutes before hopping off to the Gryffindor table like the little mischief-maker she was.

Countless mind-numbing faces later, Minerva called out, "Potter, Harry," and the hall predictably broke out into a chorus of whispers. Severus fought the urge to "help" Filius fall out of his chair as the man squirmed with excitement. It seemed everyone wanted Potter in their house except him. Well good, they could have him, though he'd cut off his left leg if the boy didn't end up being Minerva's problem.

A minute later, lady fate saw fit to let Severus keep his leg as the boy trotted off to his repulsive and excessively boisterous housemates. The Weasely twins, he noted with abhorrence, were particularly obnoxious.

After the last few children were Sorted and Albus gave his traditional, "let's make sure everyone knows I'm an eccentric old man" speech, Severus finally got to enjoy his dinner. Though, enjoy may not have been the right word. The food was agreeable as usual, but his company was not.

No one at the staff table could shut up about the Potter brat and how much like his father he was. Of course, people tended to only remember good things about the deceased, so praises for that wretch of a human being and his offspring were sung constantly. If Severus weren't required to attend the entire dinner, he would have left after the Sorting instead of listening to the appalling filth his coworkers were spewing. His only reprieve was that Quirinus didn't actually know the Potters so he had very little to add to the conversation.

The Potter-induce hell continued after that without much of interest, except for a moment when the Potter brat looked at him and was immediately overcome with pained fear, as he should be. If the child thought he was going to coast through Hogwarts on fame and fortune like his father did, he was sorely mistaken. Severus would make sure of that.

* * *

_Author's Notes: Gah, I really didn't want to put Eddy into Gryffindor because it's so cliché, but it was the only house that fit right! That's why it took the hat so long to sort her, it took ME forever to decide when I wrote this. I have this GIGANTIC explanation of Edward Elric's character vs. the different houses, so if you guys would like me to post it as an Extra in the Author's Notes for the next chapter, tell me._

_Just so you guys know, I love writing Severus, even if I'm not that good at it. He amuses me with his constant negativity, dislike for life in general, and paranoid suspicion. Which, obviously, is why this story is from his Point of View. My favorite thing about him is that he really, really, really does not like Harry Potter. He knows he's being a horribly unfair bastard, but he's too damn broken to care and correct his behavior, and that makes him hate himself even more. It's terribly funny in a sad, pathetic sort of way._

_Finally, thank you to all of my wonderful reviewers, followers, and those who added this story as a favorite! I only have one request: if my lovely reviewers could point out where I've made mistakes, I'd appreciate it so I can go back and fix them. Thanks again!_


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